Saturday, September 30, 2006

waste your precious time quiz #1: figure out who i'm "screwing/trying to screw"

is it:

a) ann coulter

b) an unspeakable ex

c) an unspeakable ex of an ex

d) tyler durden

e) miss scarlet in the study with a candlestick

f) pluto

g) threaded objects into other threaded objects

an indecipherable, baffling tragedy

ugly & semi-decipherable response

well someone seems to think i've done something to them. was it to them? are they ugly? judging by their tone: "blind, contextless rage" (so sayeth alex, so concurreth myself) all signs point to "likely".

okay, my blog senses are tingling...if you are lazy and do not (intend to) click on the link, here it is for you in all its incomprehensible glory...

Anonymous said...

I really dont care about you and rihanna or whoever just leave me alone. So you can take your wise crakes and shuff them. I have more important things to deal with instead of trying to figure out who you are screwing or trying to screw.

dear anonymous;

i honestly wish i could understand what you were saying. try spelling out your disatisfactions with some degree of care and accuracy–this will help. all of this is assuming you aren't the remnants of hatred on the internet itself, manifested in a poorly constructed, barely interpretable comment on my blog of all blogs. either way, i doubt i'm who you're looking for... but in a little way, i wish i were.


ps- rhianna (or whoever- ha), have you been soiling my name all over someone's blog? cheers to that, either way. "shuff"? ha. ha ha ha.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

dear readers, i give to you: The Best of the Portage Guie to Early Education Checklist

(if you do not know what this is-and who would?- it is a checklist of behaviours to record an individual child's developmental progress. mostly when you're working with retards, birth through 5 years)

the best of the best:

. looks at own hands, often smiles or vocalizes.
. pulls off socks
. stands alone for one minute [ this test ain't full of nothin' but lonely.]
. unwraps small objects [my favourite!]

things that are bafflingly important for toddlers to do:
. pats and pulls at adult facial features (hair, nose, glasses, etc)
. raises arms-"so big" in imitation of adult
. offers toy, object, bit of food to adult, but does not always release it.

what does this even mean?:
. responds to gestures with gestures [ i have mad gesturing skills, personally. and honestly, i am finding this one a little vague...]
. uses words for bathroom need
. tells sex when asked
. tells final word in opposite analogies
. uses yesterday and tomorrow meaningfully
. tells about immediate experiences
. holds head and chest erect supported on one arm
. screws together threaded object [just try and figure out how that one would work...i implore you.]

. hugs, pats, kisses familiar persons
. sucks and swallows liquid [ that sounds unpleasantly noisey. ]
. controls drooling

i...? i laugh:
. manipulates toy or object
. apologizes without reminder 75% of the time [does anyone do this? most people just say 'oops']
. comforts playmates in distress
. plans and builds using simple tools (inclined planes, fulcrum, lever, pulley)- [again.... i don't even do this...]
. takes part in manipulative game with another person.
. plays "dress up" in adult clothes [hell-o headlice!]
. repeats same syllable two-three times (ma, ma, ma)
. can "give me" or "show me" upon request [... did i miss the place where it says we're training them to not talk smack to their pimps?]
. points to three body parts on self [...i don't know about you, but i only have so many pointing fingers...]
. can point out absurdities in picture
. opens 1/2 pint milk carton [nothing more, nothing less]
. scribbles
. flings objects haphazardly
. creeps
. creeps upstairs
. creeps down stairs, feet first
. rolls clay balls
. pushes and pulls toys while walking

important for all of us:
. finds front of clothing
. wipes nose when reminded
. wakes up dry two mornings out of seven
. avoids common dangers
. puts on mittens
. bathes self except for back, neck and ears
. bounces up and down in standing position while being supportd
. stands with maximum support [ were i to write this, i would subsitute "ultimate" for "maximum"]
. snips with scissors
. jumps up and pivots on one foot

something i am particularly good at?
. naming big and little things (like nixon)

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

one thing that i certainly enjoy doing is...

...using only marginally relevent exclamations when people are annoying me. it baffles & insults & baffles some more.

for example:
my instructor tells me to go work on my research report more, when i am hankering to get some designing done.

i say:
do i get on your bus and tell you how to drive?

(this also subtley insinuates that they are a bus driver and that is pretty insulting)

sure, this is a little fitting. the situations are the same: one person is giving the other person orders, and they reject it. but what about things that are simple exclamations or demands? honestly, the closer you get to irrelevence without actually touching on it...well the better. extra points if you are not in the right and it makes you look like a jerk

hey! le'go my eggo!

i say:
do i get on your bus and tell you how to drive?

(an affirmative)
that was totally uncalled for!

i say:
does broccoli like being drizzled in hot, melting cheddar?
(this says you agree (i guess?)- but in a way that lets them know you just don't care anyhow)

extra points for working in their mother:
does your mother's broccoli like being drizzled in hot, melting cheddar?

(a negative)
that was totally uncalled for!

i say:
do fish feel complex emotions like misery?

extra points for working in their mother:
do your mother's fish feel complex emotions like misery?

oh my...

this website is both very impressively clever & horrible:

Monday, September 25, 2006

contrary to voting-enthusiasts & revolutionaries...

places where "change" really does start

(a cocoon)

(magneto's mutant machine)

(a frog stomach)

(circle of life?)

(petri dish- of course)

(a volcano)

Friday, September 22, 2006

combinations less redundant than "terrible tragedy"...

...which we heard twice tonight. once on a news commercial and once in fight club, of all places.

. glorious tragedy
. tranquil tragedy
. stupendous tragedy
. awesome tragedy
. ultimate tragedy
. heavenly tragedy
. plentiful tragedy
. mouth-full-of-splinters espresso tragedy
. corny tragedy
. slightly aroused tragedy
. orgasmic tragedy

reasons to vote "cloth" in the c-train "new upholstery election" (according to calgary transit)

Cloth is more comfortable
Cloth is cleaner or more hygienic
Cloth is cooler to the touch
Cloth looks better
Cloth has a more appealing texture
Vinyl color is unappealing

if you're interested in taking this quiz, it can be found here

Thursday, September 21, 2006

my string theory:

if you drag it across the carpet in front of a kitten, the kitten will go crazy-cute. and that is a scientific fact!

my theory on Professor Edward Witten (creator of string theory):
he needs to play with more kittens.
but then, who among us doesn't?

tips on how to get involved in your community #9, #10

#9 - i'm not saying you have to go to any of these; but do keep up with when your local ballets, plays & theatrical productions are going on. you can let people know that you pay attention, in the following way:

other: hello
you: hello
other: you should come over friday night because i am having a party
you: oh no! friday is the night of the ballet!
other: oh, that's too bad.
you: (lowering your head) i don't have tickets to that.

you see, by admitting that you don't have tickets you have still accomplished your goal (letting people know you are 'with it' and have a buttload of culture) and yet, to the party you may go! rhianna and i think this process is hilarious. some people, however, don't get it...

#10 - tell people they are judged by how ugly they are.
if they do not know this already, they are probably pretty ugly and should get on top of that. sooner than later.

do you know what i hate?

i can more than tolerate people who litter or breed animals to the point of being incapable of surviving on their own in the wild..or have some hideous, but really amusing defects... that's what animals are for really- to play with. we are the bosses of them and they will amuse at whatever cost. it's what steve irwin would have wanted.

but one thing i squint at times a thousand is:

people who take your apology and respond in the form of higher-than-thou judgement. (eg: "the reality is, we are all judged by our actions"- and yes, someone wrote that to me, recently) so here is an open letter to those kinds of people out there.

well, bitches;

little do you know, words out-last the strongest of actions and my memoirs will redeem me, no matter what. and my memoirs will beat up your memoirs, because yours will be full of crap like "the reality is, we are all judged by our actions" and mine will be full of nothing but awesome.


you between you & me

...and everyone who happened to be around kensington & 10th at about 3:oopm today:

today is not a good day to be wearing a light skirt.

too windy.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

best start of an article on film, ever:

A.O Scott
If you ever want to start a fight in a room full of film critics– and who doesn’t?– ...

Saturday, September 16, 2006

worst espresso flavours ever. by me

o shrimp jumbilaya
o mayonnaise
o thai rice
o egg salad
o caesar salad
o salty white tuna
o swiss cheese & mustard
o pepper & onion
o syrup & sausage
o ramen
o mouth full of splinters

i give to you;

a weather comparison for you

what it is like outside:

what it is like in our bathroom (courtesy of the gaping crack that must have opened up over night in the ceiling above right where i stand in front of the sink...)

Friday, September 15, 2006

my heroes. i want to marry them. i want to marry them both.

why indeed (a morning of lame fanfiction)


I am so unbelievably nervous. Why couldn’t I like a non-beautiful, non-amazing girl?

behold the extent of our relationship

not good enough.

really, folks, this is reaching a crucial state of mind-blowing boredom. my days are full of nothing but lonely. i was relying on classes to keep me busy and sociable this year; but i am getting out of class before noon. in which case, i stand around in the studio trying to bind people to a conversation or two as they head out the door.

my out-of-school buddies, rhianna and kathleen, are occupied until wednesday with the final and urgent stages of their tinkering, and i? i am so bored. i come home and: do pushups; feed the fish; make coffee; fiddle with homework; clean and watch perry mason. those books i bought are going to wind up lasting me another week and then... what will become of me? i pose that question to you, gentle reader: what will become of me?

1) death by coffee poisoning

2) i will over-feed nixon to the extent he turns into a gigantic, dinosaur-fish who inevitably kills me with either his a) enthusiasm or b) his secret malicious nature, which only comes across as delight in his current, tiny state.

3) death by papercuts from my over-vigorous, desparate reading.

4) my metaphors will congeal into a dinosaur-beast and turn on me. sometimes, this seems plausible.

5) i will turn into a girl version of Guy Who Rollerskates Really Good.

Monday, September 11, 2006

metaphorical chipmunk cheeks

as the sun sets on my summer reading - a whopping, heavy-duty sack of winter reading opens and out comes a brand new day. winter reading- plausibly even nicer than summer reading. winter books are certainly more urgently needed: to distract me as much as possible from the cold; to amuse me when i am inevitably knocked down by viruses and plagues and bits of plagues from the usual grab-bag of sniffly delights (courtesy of my elementary school teacher roommate); and to balance out my overwhelming creative out-put during the school term. the final school term, i might add.

anyhow. yes, having been let go from class early, i went down to Pages and stuffed my metaphorical chipmunk cheeks with metaphorical nuts for the (really & truly) winter. i guess it is winter, either way...

winter books:
coraline neil gaiman
if on a winter's night a traveler italo calvino
the baron in the trees italo calvino
everything is illuminated jonathan safran foer
magic: for beginners kelly link
the transformationcatherine chidgey
misfortunewesley stace
jonathan strange & mr. norrellsusanna clarke (i have put it off because of so many barely-tepid reviews...but 10.oo for about 1ooo pages... why not? some people liked it.)
mobius dick andrew crumey

+ordered a replacement copy of china mieville's perdido st. station

(yes, i know this list won't last me the entire winter... this is not news to me; but as is my arms hurt carrying it all home and i do not live so very far away from the bookstore...)

Sunday, September 10, 2006

summer reading, concluded

sadly, i snapped shut the last novel that can be considered on my summer reading list. let's have a recap, shall we?


days between stations
tours of the black clock
our ecstatic days
girl with curious hair (collection of shorts by david foster wallace)
eats, shoots & leaves
the magus
(actually haven't finished it... it is boring.)
(another collection of shorts by lisa somebody..boring times a thousand.)
degrees of nakedness (same author. same issues.)
the contortionist's handbook
beware of god stories
pirates! on an adventure with whaling
here is where we meet
extremely loud & incredibly close
tristessa (ritual summer reading)

+ a handfull of The Believer back-issues, some new yorkers, another handfull of poetry books, and the usual newspaper situation.

me gusta:
the magus
beware of god stories
pirates! on an adventure with whaling (as i would any other pirates! book...)
here is where we meet
extremely loud & incredibly close
days between stations
tours of the black clock
our ecstatic days
eats, shoots & leaves

good, but not exactly a-mazing
contortionist's handbook
girl with curious hair

open (nothing against lisa moore but her content is so intolerably boring and boring again...)
degrees of nakedness(")
fallen (i got maybe three chapters in...too bad it has such amazing cover design...)

an open letter to rhianna: because i cannot look you in the eye and confess..

...i watched harold and maude on television the other night. and i do not like it at all.

briefly, i liked it when i thought harold had driven himself off a cliff. the scene where he dances away with a banjo, to the perky demonstration song? that does not jive with me. not at all. no jiving. not even the dashiest dash of a crumb of a jive, do i.

if there is one thing i do not like in movies, it is leading ladies who are so in-your-face eccentric with: "this is beautiful and that is beautiful" and: "you have to live! and live!". also, i harbour a distinct breed of hatred for anyone who tries to force me to sing. they get my ultimate squint and seethe routine. what's worse is, in these movies, boys inevitably fall in love with them. i know, i will never be that kind of a lady. rhianna... alex...people: you all know this. rhianna, i am shocked you enjoy her character. i thought you were loyal to our mean side of the fence? mean but lovely.

i didn't even make it to 22 with that kind of optimism. which means she is either ignorant or high. or both. props to her for copping a feel with harold: besides being sluggish, he was a treat. cute pants. but by the end, i wanted her to drop. even disreguarding how she spelled her name with a superfluous 'e'... i, for one, was ready to stuff those mystery tablets down her throat if she didn't. at this stage in her life i think any tampering with her hymen would be... well, ineffective at best. moot issue. death is the only resolution.

so she pops those pills and she tells harold to: "love some more!" and i was in pain. what a load of weaksauce. you are 79 with a supple little lover! what the crap are you doing, lady? harold drives his car off a cliff, i say: "whoa movie, you totally redeemed your plot-self!" you pan up to harold standing on the cliff and i say, "....oh, enough of this." the banjo and dancing? i say nothing. there is just nothing to say.

besides the nice composition of the film... it was just beyond me to enjoy it.

what i walked in on, this morning

paul's brush & comb- how embarrassing

Saturday, September 09, 2006

defeating alarm clocks that don't exist yet (yet)

clocky(estimated $50.oo US)
"Clocky® (patent pending) is an alarm clock that runs away and hides if you don't get out of bed on time. The alarm sounds, you press the snooze, and Clocky will roll off of the bedside table, jump to the floor, and wheel away, bumping mindlessly into objects until he finds a spot to rest. When the alarm sounds again, you must awaken to search for him. Clocky will find new spots everyday, kind of like a hide-and-seek game.

Clocky alarm clocks were designed to reinterpret the common alarm clock into something that is not stressful and obnoxious but amusing and a better fit between humans and technology"

1) i like fun.
2) it is furry and kind of like a pet.
3) it learns and i love learning.
4) great way to get guys in your bedroom. "come in and see my alarm clock........ baby."

1) i don't know if i like fun in the morning. survey says: no, kaylen, you probably don't.
2) it is furry and kind of like a pet– that i will have no opportunity to show off to other people. and that is the ultimate, prime function of pets.
3) actually, the word "mindless" is in there. how much tolerance would i have for anything that mindlessly bumbles around my bedroom? and how much would it suck if it went around my clean floors and wound up back at the bed? .... and more importantly: how much noise does all this mindless bumbling make?

puzzle alarm clock($52)
"spits out puzzle pieces into the air, which must be reassembled to stop the sound." (globe & mail)

1) hold on... i'm still thinking...

1) could it get any more retarded. survey says? no.
2) this is also brought to you by the same people who made "sudoku toilet paper rolls"... doubt & disapproval runs wild in the mind.

okay. pros:
1) after much deliberation, i can think of only one. it also tells the time.

SmartClock ($250.oo)
a clock that comes with a number of melodies so you can set it to wake you up in whatever mood you choose.

all i can say about it is:
i wonder if they have "humorous intolerance" or "lovely & skeptical". i bet it has like three settings- super bouncy ; empowered ; and peacefully awake. those seem to be popular choices for anything from music to breakfast cereal.

SleepSmart(not yet released)
" monitors your brainwaves to find the optimum time to wake you up. it has a headband that senses when you begin to rouse out of deep sleep. if it's in 30mins of your desired wake-up time, the alarm sounds."

1) alright, i admit that's a feasibly more rational way of waking someone up– finding a spot where it'd be easiest for them to wake up and pouncing. like a lion unto antelope.

1) either way the metaphorical antelope is devoured by the lion.
2) the metaphorical antelope can be devoured up to half an hour before the time it absolutely has to be devoured. that is not cool.
3) wearing a headband all night would keep me up. i am a light sleeper.
4) my metaphorical anteleope just does not want to die. there is no escaping that.

the zen clock...

if that were on my bedside table- you know it would wind up full of pennies.

if they found the cure for breast cancer...

women would have nothing to walk for– they would become obese and everyone would wind up on dr.phil. dr.phil would lecture the men about how the women need love and romance and the men would cower because they do not want to say, "my wife is fat now and i hate her. and i can't even cheat on her with prettier women because they are all fat because there is no breast cancer to walk for."

there will only be retards. you want to know my thoughts on walking for retards? let them walk for themselves.
1) they can- it is an easy way to help themselves and that's what all those pro-retard businesses aim to enable them to do
2) it is really funny to watch retards walking...
3) you knew that already.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

some of the lamest halloween costume ideas i've ever heard of

o cereal killer:
Materials Needed:

All Black Clothes
Mini Cereal Boxes
Plastic Knifes
Fake Blood
Safety Pins

"Put on the Black outfit. Empty the cereal boxes and then glue the tops closed. Stab the plastic knifes into the boxes of cereal, secure with glue if needed. Add some fake blood on the knives and cuts. Pin the mini cereal boxes all over the outfit (If helpful, you may do this before you glue the boxes shut.)

You may even want to put some fake blood around your mouth or maybe stick some pieces of one of the cereals around your mouth."

o something that may or may not be my spirit guide

o gum under the chair:
Materials Needed:

Small doll or barbie chair
Pink Clothes, Jewelry, etc.
Elastic or ribbon


"Put the pink clothes and pink jewlery on. (You want to be as pink as possible.)

Use the elastic or ribbon to attach the chair to your head and you can be gum stuck under the chair."

o static cling:
"Wear a a dark colored sweatsuit. Using safety pins, attach 'clingy' iems to yourself... socks, undies, fabric softener sheets, ect. Make sure you also make your hair stand up like it has been attacked by static cling."

o road with cars and embarrassing photo ops
Materials Needed:

Black pants
Black shirt
White out
Toy cars (can be printed off computer)
Road signs (can be printed off computer)
Safety pins


Make yourself into a road! Put a dotted white line down your pants and shirt and make it look like a highway with road signs and cars!

Cut out the toy cars and road signs and pin them on your costume! Then, have a friend dress up as roadkill and have them lay on you for a great photo!"

o speed bump:

Yellow sweatsuit
Black paint
Small roller
Black makeup
Get a yellow sweatshirt and pants.

Lay shirt behind a vehicle's tire. Use a roller to paint the tracks of the tire. Back vehicle over shirt. (Lay newspapers down so as to be careful not to get paint on garage/driveway if car rolls too far).

Repeat for pants.
Repeat as often as like for effect.
For finishing touch create tire track using black makeup on face.

o judge judy(pic only)

now one that's so bad it's a little wonderful:
o chance of rain:
"An easy costume to make... Wear blue sweats with 'puffs' of batting attached to resemble clouds. To complete it, carry a squirt gun. Would be great if you had someone else dress up as a weather person."

from ilikedrawing

new stickers from one of my favourite artists: mr ilikedrawing

little bits

my classes end early. which means i have time for (drumroll)
the three shows i have been in the habit of watching:

o perry mason
o passions
o dr. phil

today i got:

o a hat. it is a purple tweed fidel hat.
o a winter jacket that is awesome.
o a pair of sunglasses (possibly the only pair of sunglasses in the universe that do not look absolutely monstrous on my face). you may not know how important sunglasses are: in calgary they are very important. i am tired of squinting for the last 4 years. this year, my beautiful eyes will get pampered like nuts.
o unfortunately, a slip saying i missed my coffee delivery. son of a haux.

maybe definite possible stories about The Guy Who Skates Good

have you met The Guy Who Skates Good? if you haven't, dear reader, let me introduce you.

The Guy Who Skates Good is a guy at lloyd's rollerskating rink who is there, skating his heart out, every wednesday night while we are practicing for the roller derby (or just attempting to skate period...). he is the string-thin, rollerskating equivalent of napoleon dynamite: he dances; he skates; he pumps his clenched fists; adjusts his glasses and skates backwards. He is there when we come in and he is still skating when we leave.

lovely & supposed stories to explain The Guy Who Skates Good:

a) once upon a time there was a boy. he was morbidly obese & the butt of all jokes. his only escape was skating and he skated and skated and skated until he skated himself thin. when all of the kids and young, supple women saw this thin and semi-dapper fellow, they wanted him to join them in their reindeer games: well all he wanted to do was skate. and skate.

b) he is actually dead and haunts lloyd's rollerskating rink every single night. or at least every wednesday. he hasn't bitten anyone, so maybe he is just one of those dead people who are locked into repetitive tasks.

c) he has always wanted to be a dancer but he can only dance when he wears his magic rollerskates. at lloyds. every wednesday night.

d) he is an angel sent to help someone in the rollerskating rink: they haven't yet turned up and he is showing off his heavenly skating abilities in the meantime. or they have shown up and he is easily distracted by skating with his heavenly abilities.

e) there is a musical side to this, and we are all missing it.

f) have you seen donnie darko? well it may be something like that. suppose that every wednesday night a worm hole opens up in some alternate universe: a universe where everyone dances around on rollerskates. this wormhole picks this random guy up and drops him off in lloyd's rollerskating rink.

here is the catch. every wednesday it opens up on our side, but it opens up at a specific time in that universe. for us, he appears every wednesday. for him, he is only whisked away (for one magical night only) for a fanciful spree in a universe where everyone skates lamer than him.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

before i go to bed, i have to say...

i like rollerskates. they make a leggy babe of me.

that is all.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

i give to you: sugar bugs

"Sugar bugs are adult bacteria that thrive on white refined sugar. Remains of sticky candy and other white sugar sweets attach in between the teeth and in the grooves of the teeth. The sugar bugs attack the remaining particles because they have the enzymes to digest the white sugar to use for energy. The sugar bug release byproducts of strong acids that eat through the enamel of the teeth... "

but now for the cool part.

"...The sugar bug dominates the environment and influences other remaining bacteria to become allies in decaying the teeth."

i couldn't find any pictures of these mouthy wonders. the closest thing that i found, resembling a scientific portrait is:

Monday, September 04, 2006

nawlinwiki, i give you this medal

the bunny-deleting-bee-bigot-monster award of the internet.

nawlinwiki is not only a monster, he is severely misguided as to what the internet is for. the internet is not about knowledge; the internet is not a library; and the internet is certainly no place for a person like nawlinwiki. no, the internet is a place for:

o porn
o lyrics
o stealing music & t-shirt designs
o quizzes
o fake quizzes
o strangers judging strangers ( & the pets of strangers ( ; ; ...)
o strangers insulting strangers
o my ex-roommate: to locate the carrier of her next VD
o drinking games & cheat codes
o more porn
o loveliness

what wikipedia does not get is the internet-proper form of knowledge. does it right: colouring books, fun jokes and general nonsensical loveliness. if i knew a good way to protest wikipedia, i certainly would. wikipedia is the breeding ground for an army of humorless, dictionary-thumping buttheads. (see: nawlinwiki).

Sunday, September 03, 2006

the large garden bumblebee was not ridin' dirty...

as you've probably heard, NawlinWiki (see nawlin=new orleans, isn't that very clever) deleted the large garden bumblee article on wikipedia. if you haven't been paying attention at all, i am refering to a brief article that consisted entirely of these two charming sentences:

"The Large Garden bumblebee is most typically a bee, that bumbles around a large garden. However, it could also be a large bee that bumbles around a more modestly proportioned garden."

Nawlin, as you may or may not know, has busied himself fixing and deleting quite a few articles. his comments page is littered with these rusty star pictures that stand as awards for busy-bodying wiki style.

and is followed by
"so and so awards this Barnstar to NawlinWiki for tireless vandal reversion and being an all-round great Wikipedian."

great wikipedian. i spit on him.
were i face to face with this abomination to humanity i would say:
no one likes a whistle-blower, you nasty little hall-monitor.

since i am not, i registered with wikipedia and left him a note on his comment board.

comment title: let us, you and i, discuss your actions against the large garden bumblebee...
shame on you.

if there were an unattractive award for people who busy themselves stripping the internet of loveliness, i would give it to you.
that is all i have to say, really.


all of this takes place at: nawlinwiki comments

in essence: NawlinWiki is hatin... patrollin'.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

why settle for a ribbon when... could have a sticker so pro-american it defies all symbols that came before! i saw a few of these when i was state-side and let me tell you: i was awed, inspired and practically peeing my pants at this thing. now, i am used to cars coered in ribbons, in W-o4! and variations of. this sticker is like none other. you know those flames painted up the side of hot cars? in order to show, by referencing fire, that it is indeed a hot car? well, it is not just a flame. it is a flag in the shape of a flame (not in the heretical way- in the awesome way!) that ends in the head of an eagle. dear jesus, could you bless us with anything more awesome?

and here, i managed to find you a picture.