Thursday, November 16, 2006

why danielcraigisnotbond.com should never be taken seriously

i find danielcraigisnotbond.com a weak and disreputable source for the bond debate.

first of all: are people seriously forgetting how unattractive sean connery was as bond? you know i don't care for mr. connery (who isn't even british) to begin with. some people insist he was The Bond.



okay, let's get a line-up here. you pick how many classic bonds you find attractive; because let me tell you, it is a compromise for me to pick even one.


figure 1: not british; receeding hairline ; odd eyebrows; really odd & deflated baloon checks
figure 2: if bond were a cruise director on a retirement vessel or a school principal from the 50's, he'd look like this. mustache = creepy. receeding hairline = well. very receeded.
figure 3: kind of blocky and penal-code-looking. if you ignore his tiny, tiny gun not so bad.
figure 4: looks shocked and dragged off the set of a jeopary knock-off game show.
figure 5: too much eyebrow, too scary, and too 'my hair was transplanted to my scalp from my crotch'.
figure 6: yeah i can't really complain about this one. he's a pretty-lookin' guy.

how is daniel craig anything but an improvement? have you seen his eyes? they are like delicious face-glaciers. even you don't find him pretty enough, you have to remember:
a) he is british. that's sometimes the price you pay for authenticity.
b) he can't possibly be any worse than guys like bond #2.
c) he played an almost sexier-than-bond character in layer cake.
d) no creepy mustache.



now for the people behind the anti-craig site... is this an intentional spelling error? the double question marks lead me to believe it isn't.




quotes from the site which have me further second-guessing their opinion:
DanielCraigIsNotBond.com endorses Happy Feet


CRAIG SICK OF MARTINI OFFERS: -The 38-year-old actor is bored
of fans using the superspy's infamous catchphrase and asking
him if he likes the beverage "shaken or stirred". He says, "I want
to chin people who ask me that."


well, who wouldn't? i know i could 'chin' people for less.

i have a hard time taking people seriously, when they stood behind the last, incredible flop of a bond movie.

me? i'm not even a huge bond fan-- i think craig will class it up, though it's beneath his potential to play in a bond movie-- and i keep thinking: what is bond, really, except a revolving door for actors anyhow? the business of bond, is finding the next replacement. why paint such a vicious bullseye on just another guy passing through the door?

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sean Connery actually is British. He's just not English.

Other than that, I agree totally!

Oh, also, Pierce Brosnan really isn't British, because he's Irish.

1:36 PM  
Blogger echolalias said...

pffff.....

semantics....

11:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not sure what you are talking about here.

If you want to debate with DanielcraigisnotBond.com (I don't think you will as you do not seem to have the guts or the intellect) then they have a forum at:

http://www.danielcraigisnotbond.com/forum/

6:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you enjoy Quatum of Solace? If you are did, you are probably the only one.

Craig is not James Bond.

3:29 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home