Tuesday, November 14, 2006

what is the lanolin content for confusion?

why is it that these days search engines' only magic mean is the power to exponentially increase my curiosity by infinity? my curiosity, which goes completely unsated despite any amount of online rifling and detective-ry. i wind up walking around asking random people who have odd stores of knowledge. isn't that the sort of practice that search engines attempted to eliminate in the first place?

okay, so my mind was wandering–mostly to the very round, very blue alpaca hat i was wearing today (read: am wearing)–i turned to anders and sang my hat- is a very very very round hat... and continued on explaining: it is from south america; it is very blue; and it was made from llamas.

me- "not llamas...you know. their fur"(pause) "no, not fur... um.. what is it called? wool? what do they call wool? it's not sheep fur..."

we puzzle over this, until i remember the word "fleece".

then this leads to me asking anders: "hey. so what's the difference between fleece and fur anyway?"

we race to our respective laptops and search engines. assuming there was more than just a vocabulary-based difference, i searched for difference between fleece and fur and only got a long list of clothing sites in return. so i slammed (action verb of the day) parentheses around my search phrase. only to be bombarded by yet another question.

"difference between fleece and fur" resulted in one hit: apprising ministries (mormon blog) wherein the following appears:

As Dr. Martin used to say: “if you don’t know the difference between fleece and fur, you’re going to lose your spiritual arm right up to the elbow.”

what the hell does that even mean? it follows a short quip about false prophets. but even if it's relevent to that, which is the false prophet? the fleece? or the fur? dear family practitioner: what is my spiritual arm? attempting to look up the meaning of what is already a digression from my initial curiosity, i come across unhelpful sites covering everything from simple "arm of fellowship" definitions to debates centered around the spirit-body connection and amputation. yeesh.

okay, so according to the mormons, the difference between fleece and fur should be obvious (unless they simply mean vocabulary-wise... that's kind of a big hangup to lose that spiritual appendage over, though). i, for the life of me, don't know what that difference is exactly.

but from now on, i am going to threaten people with the loss of their spiritual arm up to their elbow.


Blogger Idoru said...

That's the funniest thing I've heard today. Unfortunately, your hat is made of Alpaca. But we can keep calling it a llama if you want

1:18 AM  
Blogger echolalias said...

no, i do know this. i know it's wrong but i pretend the words are interchangeable. "llama" is my "i am being cute" word and "alpaca" is my "i am geeky cute" word.

7:44 PM  

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