Monday, March 17, 2008

in praise of tetris.

if only IQ tests would incorporate the friendly, colorful, 2D shapes i know and love from tetris... i can make those motherfuckers fit together any day.

bane of my existence. i can run through them pretty speedily (if i don't panic), but damned be those questions, "what would this object look like if turned like so..."

the fuck do i know what it would look like? they all resemble used/crumpled hairnets to me. from another angle? a used/crumpled hairnet. what's the next shape in the pattern? used/crumpled hairnet.

also, i never know if some of these are mistakes:

by changing the spaces only, "blah blah blah," could be read, "bl ah bl ahblah."

i go ahead and check "false" because spacing wouldn't transform a comma into a period but heaven only knows if that's what they had in mind. am i reading too much into it? i get the creepiest feeling, answering these things. i always picture them writing the questions while twirling their greasy, devious mustache-tendrils. and tenting their fingers all evil-like. they say there's no trick questions. but c'mon. if you were writing these... well, wouldn't you?

i bet it's someone like this guy.

he looks normal and old, but any smart lady will tell you: he is totally out to get you.

not only through questionable details but through the illustration of those 3d or 2d objects.

who even looks at this and doesn't want to die of boredom? i have a hard time even making my eyes stay put on it for more than a second.

on the other hand, this one is almost too cute to analyze. i get all caught up in the adorable pink and the little, bitsy triangles nuzzling at what i can only assume is the 'mommy' shape.

this stuff reminds me of germs or arm-hair from health class books circa 1980-something. gross.

and this style just distracts me with thoughts of buying a new shower curtain.

this makes me think, "man i wish i were eating a cookie right now..."

i guess it's obvious why i clash so strongly with formal education.


at the very least, it is unkind to have these blunt-but-sketchy questions just hang there on the page... all smug with no one to answer for them. i have questions. seriously, a whole page of things i wasn't clear on. the rest of my day is going to be spent tracking down some phone number or mailing address.

the results

i did okay; i pulled a 140 on a test, despite a) the rampant ADD, b) not answering a few 3D questions, c) over-analyzing, d) being tapped on the shoulder to edit a few dell spec... and e) answering the last 13 questions in a state of utter paranoia and vexation.

i scored a 159 on they only give you the one, flat sum and i have a feeling they really pad on the points as a means of swindling you into buying the details. so if you feel like really inflating your ego? i definitely recommend it. do not open your wallet to their flattery, though. like that aesop fable with the crow and cheese. they are based in reno and that is sketchy at best.

...let's go back to the cute triangles.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

"this stuff reminds me of germs or arm-hair from health class books circa 1980-something. gross."

This made me feel really strange.

Did you know that if you type it comes up with a list of people who are linked to your site? I didn't until a few minutes ago. you can also use it as a calculator.

10:14 PM  

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