Marty Neumeier: you know how I know you’re gay?

quotes from the book the bra nd gap
(obviously titled by a man unfamiliar with the term "see-say")

"If it’s not innovative, it’s not magic" (thanks for that, doug henning...)

"When everybody zigs, zag"

"Law of the jungle: survival of the fittingest"

"By asking left-brainers and right-brainers to work as a team, you bridge the gap between logic and magic. With collaboration, one plus one equals eleven."
(maybe that's what you learned in your gay math class...)

"For successful precedents to creative collaboration, look to Hollywood, silicon valley, and the cathedral buildings of the renaissance."
(the renaissance. right. do that. that sounds totally and completely heterosexual.)

"Your business is not an entity but a living organism. Ditto your brand. Alignment, not consistent, is the basis of a living brand."
(you know how I know you’re gay? You say, “ditto”.)

"A living brand is a never-ending play, and every person in the company is an actor. People see the play when they experience the brand and then they tell others."



gay features in the book:
incredibly obvious pictures illustrating his points. “branding is the traction!” (picture of a car wheel with a big white arrow pointing to the bottom of the tires.)

references Gershwin’s rhapsody in blue
(everyone knows only assholes in semi-luxury, yellow cars reference Gershwin.)


he suggests I add his ‘take-away notes’ to the bottom of emails. yeah, that's not going to happen.


simply wrong/simply gay:
"Our brains filter out irrelevant information"
(yeah right. then why do I know so much about the marianis trench and that tiger pheromones smell like theater-style popcorn?)

He also keeps suggesting you move to a “tribe”

seriously, what kinda crack...