Tuesday, July 17, 2007

the real question is: why don't diamond smugglers use chipmunks in hot air balloons more often?

things that do not make sense about the chipmunk adventure movie:

the basics
. man with undetermined (and awesome) career adopts and raises three chipmunks.

. turtlenecks, the likes of which i've never seen in real life

. there is no difference between chipmunks and people, besides the little nose

. the girl chipmunks don't seem to have a home/guardian. yet seem to regard dave none the less.

plot peculiarities

. wealthy diamond smugglers plotting illegal distribution in a soda shop-slash-arcade.

. wealthy diamond smugglers thinking it's a good idea to hand over millions of dollars in diamonds and cold, hard, thousand-dollar-bill cash to chipmunks (who also happen to be children).

. wealthy diamond smugglers who think chipmunks in hot air balloons are a feasible method for carrying out diamond/money exchange.

. simon's random and sudden ability to translate what the fiji natives are saying.

. chipmunk children's sudden ability to man, maintain and repair hot air balloons.

. facial expressions that defy all anatomical logic

. why an agent of interpol has gold teeth, is wearing a white dinner jacket, bowtie and rose. unless this interpol office is somewhere deep in havana.

. why snakes would be attracted to chipmunk ladies

clause and claudia? you are visionaries. creepily incestuous, visionaries of the diamond-smuggling industry. but let's face it, you deserved to get tossed in the can.

note: why do i not have some turtleneck that covers me, neck to toe, with my first initial on it?


Anonymous samantha said...

Bahahahaha I see you've watched one of our favorite movies!

"Honeeeyyy you're a sweet thing! And you look so fine!"

8:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who cares about plot irregularities-those chipmunks can sing!

4:49 AM  
Blogger Idoru said...

also under "the basics": what does social services think about a single man adopting three child chipmunks? can dave pass a background check? why does dave never have a girlfriend?

5:28 AM  

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