Saturday, June 30, 2007

guess who's a working girl? (i don't mean prostitute. )

so i'm going to go ahead and say my first week as a copwriting intern (@ critical mass) was pretty nice–despite the fact i don't actually go through the company's ("critical") orientation program until this coming tuesday. that factor alone has made things interesting. a lot of learning kicked off by sentences such as:

"i have a phone number? ...could you tell me what it is?"

"i have a calendar in there?"

"...which button means 'yes'?"

(sometime weds evening...) "seriously? i'm supposed to be tracking my hours...?"

"...why are we making these people look good?"

it also led to me being chewed out by some overprotective security officers. i went in the front entrance (easier for me). they made me take out my company swipe-card to show them, then go back through the side door. they said it was the only way they would be able to tell if i was in the building. of course i said, "you mean besides my vibrant, actual presence?"... they are none too hot on me. but otherwise i haven't offended anyone.

also involved: learning 17 pages of dell acronyms.
here's a couple dirty ones.

AHT- average handle time
ASA- average speed of answer (hold time)
IFT- intimiated first timers (novice first-timers with high support requirements)
RR- regretful retailers (wish they'd bought a more powerful product)
TD- experts, consummate enthusiasts and advocates (consumer cluster)

a couple sad ones:
EOL- End of Life
AR- Abandonment Rate

acronym i want hanging over my head:
COC- center of competence

funniest things i have heard in my first five days

- the marketing term "gender agnostic" (usage: "that headline isn't gender agnostic enough.")

- "just hang in there, i know it's all unchartered waters." (hee. we don't have tickets for these waters.)

- "do you want a cancer shirt?"

i also, probably, am the single intern in the galaxy not fetching people coffee. is it weird that i would kind of like to be the girl who knows how everyone likes their coffee?


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