Monday, January 21, 2008

yet another reason i hate australians.

dear australia;


it's a good thing you're on the other side of the planet, because i would seriously fuck you up right now. like 'dump-buckets-of-agitated-lobsters-down-your-underpants' fuck you up.

sincerely,
me.

vote a made-up word into the dictionary.

i mean first of all, voting words into the english language seems to turn the usefulness of dictionary updates into some sort of trivial game - it is no longer about word functionality, but instead becomes some kind of giggly, word-popularity contest. on the internet, of all places. the internet . where people make the dumbest decisions, whether out of stupidity, boredom or idleness. and you're letting them maim the english language with the wave of a mouse.

second: why are you bothering to include slang in a dictionary? simply because you can look it up and snicker? it's slang. it's a passing fancy, a fleeting trend. not something to be printed and preserved. it exists only out of popular usage, which will die out. let it exist as long as it's thrown around, and then let it go quietly into the night like all little phrases with expiration dates. you can't tell me "floordrobe" has staying power...

how's this for a word: ass-tralians (noun. everyone who resides in australia or adheres to their awful ideas. also, people who drunkenly imitate their nasal, hyper-lilting accents and basically deserve underpants full of agitated lobsters.)

just so you know, you could have something cool like this:


but nope. no lobster phone. only unpleasantness for you.

20 Comments:

Anonymous James said...

Sorry, but that was nothing but utter dribble.

I have no idea how most of that even remotely related to Australia.

I am English.

7:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahaha your a fuckin idiot, just becase every australian rips up canada ayeee hahahah ur like a shit version of the usa and like yeah your just crap

7:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA LMAO, AGREED

7:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

australians pretend to be so superior and they contribute nothing but bad actors to the world.

4:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Canadians are cool people. The only worry is their accent and you initially think 'uh-oh' but its such a relief when you realise they aren't american

11:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WHITE AUSTRALIANS ARE DIRTY FILTHY DISGUSTING PIECES OF SHIET.

I HAVE NEVER SEEN A SUCH A GROUP OF FUCKED UP LOSERS.

NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF ANIMALS.

11:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Australians think they are so superior to their equivelant of niggers, Aboriginals. when in reality they are no different. All australians must hang!

10:36 PM  
Anonymous Rita said...

I am 100% in agreement with you. Every Australian I know is racist - every single one. Everyone of them hates Aboriginals first then in varing degrees asians, muslims/ arabs and anyone elese not blonde haired, blue eyed. The Cronulla riots sums them up. West Australians are the worst; they have a paranoid, insular, seige mentality to add to their horrible natures.

9:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The majority of Australian people are good, down to earth people. Their idea of fun may be a little bit off to some people but it just comes with being real. Australian's don't beat around the bush, they get straight to the point and that may offend some people but it's just the way aussies are. I agree there are heaps of racist Australians but I assure you there are more good hearted down to earth people than there are racists. Your countries have their own problems, too. Don't be so quick to judge! Come live in Australia for a few years and get a better understanding before you start saying such horrible things.

9:43 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

I am from America and I've been living in Sydney, Australia for the past 5 months with my boyfriend. Personally, I am shocked at the attitude of mostly all of the Australians I have met. People constantly say negative things about Americans? Well, let me tell you, most Americans are incredibly nice, down to earth people. I took a road trip around the US less than a year ago and I was shocked myself about how generous and helpful everyone was. In Australia, I have noticed that people are pretentious and stuck up and have this air about them that they are better than everyone else, especially the women. I'm really disappointed about this, because I thought Australia was supposed to be this down to earth, liberal, free thinking place where everyone is really nice. I guess I was wrong :(

9:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

fucken american cunt oi you didnt see us hanging black pepole only 50 yeas ago we didnt drop bombs on any were we didnt attack a country we didnt burn harry potter books beacaues theyw ere seen as devel worshop we didnt go and get owe selfs blown the fuck up and we are fucking nice but not to americans man fuck oh and i bet you didnt evan meet a austrialan beacaues they were doing the egsact fucking thing you are doing leving in owe country fucken hell ay so why didnt austrilas harbour bridge get bombed but your fucken towers did caues your fucken dick shits


o and yes you were wrong dont fucken talk about my country like that you dirty peace of shit

12:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If i ahte a cricket bat i would think about bashing your head with a cricketbat. You can't say whole lot a people are liek that just because of a couple. And for the people that say we are all racist, fuck the hell up we are not you idoits. Your the ones that are racist saying that.

2:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm Australian. I'm not racist at all. I have a lot of Asian/European/Aboriginal friends. So obviously not everyone living here is racist. Most other countries just don't understand our sense of humor. Lighten up a bit.

9:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I could not agree with you more. I have lived in many countries around the world and I have to say that I have felt the most unwelcomed and disrespected (as a human being) in Australia. I have lived here for close to 5 years now and dislike it immensely. Australians are aggressive, ignorant and treat immigrants with the greatest of disrespect. Go figure international experience doesn't count here and only Australian experience. No wonder things are so backward here - why invent the wheel when you can make it better instead? They are arrogant and for what I ask myself? Australia is a third world country. Australians have the attitude that everything done here is the "best in the world" - what a joke!!! I am so over this place and if I could leave I would. I also went to the US recently and was shocked by the kindness and politeness there. People actually have manners. I realized that this place really is a hole. And the only thing that Australians can do is attack you personally and call you names as evidenced above (reminds me of kindergarten actually). Instead of trying to have an intellectual conversation about the pros and cons (every place has these) they reduce everything to a personal fight and use aggressive language. So predictable and boring really. Also there is no culture what so ever here - its like a shell with nothing inside. Oh wait - there is culture - drinking and fighting. I forgot about that. I have not seen so much aggression before as I have here. its a sign of ignorance really. Australians have a bad reputation overseas which funnily enough they seem to be proud of. Lets see drinking until they are legless, throwing up all over the place and really not contributing much to society. Also why is it that they need to be so regulated by their government? Is it because they are like children that need to be told how to wipe their butts? It sure seems like it there is a regulation for everything here. The patriotism is more like delusion than reality. Honestly Australians really need to wake up and realise they are just a speck on this earth - they don't contribute much to this world and in fact they are full of themselves for no reason whatsoever. As I said its a sign of ignorance. My bags are packed and if I could I would leave on the next plane out. Sadly that is not an option at the moment. Australia is not the place of milk and honey. Rather its a racist, small minded place that is unjustly full of itself.

3:30 AM  
Blogger Cong said...

I agree with most of things said here about Australia and Australians. I came to Australia six years ago as a student and not a day goes by without a deep and personal remorseful feeling about the very decision. Here is why.

Every Australia I have met seems to have an innate desire to bring you to their level. I think it is their way of being friendly. It all starts with 'G'day mate' and ends in stereotyping on the basis of family background, profession, religious affiliation and ethnicity. Australians seem incapable of comprehending the simple fact that each individual is different and can switch between different roles in society.

Secondly, the general Australian way of reaching a decision is by consensus, much due to the lack of individual creativity and leadership abilities. The happy-go-lucky attitude contributes not only to the fear of embracing new ideas but also to minimal observation of social conventions and etiquettes.

Thirdly, the Australian English is quite a piece of art. The accent is very nasal to the point of being comprehensible and there exists almost no grammatical structure that connect sentences into a paragraphs. Most high schools here in Australia do not teach the art of word. Instead, they pride themselves on unfounded innovation and creativity. I guess this comes from their convict past and their intention to make a mark for themselves.

In addition, most Australians are out there to protect themselves. The political and social texture is quite conservative and boring. People are content to leading a conventional good life, showing little interest in exploring new facets of human experiences. To make matters worse, they have a pack mentality that is worse than anywhere in the world and have no problems of ridiculing non-conformists and eccentrics. Most tend to have little ability or desire to form individual judgments of certain personalities and situations.

Yeah, you see. Australia has been a huge disappointment for me. I hope Australians who are reading this have the intelligence to see the truth in my argument, rather than seeing this as a personal attack from someone they would claim to have no authority on 'an Australian issue'.

Peace all

12:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The main problem with Australians is that they are far too welcoming and friendly to you all you uptight, wallowing, miserable foreigners its really a shame. I also think if people really understood how intolerant and unwelcoming dutch people are in their own country to so called ¨Foreigners¨ which includes 3 generations of immigrants from Surinam, Turkey and North Africa. Or how uptight, sensitive and self-serving British people really are, or how bitchy all Europeans are.. I mean that is the one common thread the extreme bitchiness of all the cultures in Europe.. It would save everyone a lot of time wasted on you people.. Aussies need to stop giving you guys the time of day, they need to start making life miserable for you so you all fuck off and leave back to your miserable cold wet, alcoholic lives in Europe

11:29 AM  
Anonymous Wayne said...

Been in this shithole for 5 years, and can't agree more with what I read.I'm European, and cam here with big hopes about people, lifestyle, etc... This country has been magnificently marketed to attract workers, students, travelers. Once here reality is other. Let's start from the beginning :

Customs :

Most unfriendly customs you will ever met, if you look different to a WASP you will be fully body checked with your luggages. You can lost 1h in there.
Public Transport : Where I live in Brisbane, it is the 3rd most expensive in the world. Seriously there are 4 lines, always issues, never in time, incredibly slow (might go at 20kmh). There was a 20% fare increase and nobody said anything.

People :

Sheeps, uncultured, bigoted,rude, shallow, intolerant, xenophobics, and racists. Forget about having a decent conversation if it does not include beer, footy, or sex. There is absolutely no culture here. You might find a few old buldings (100 years max) nothing interesting to say. The only culture was aborigine, but whites destroyed everything. Everyone look sad, don't smile and unfriendly. They confuse confidence with arrogance. THe girls look like men, full mouthed, tatoos, high maintenance princesses, think they are the kings of the world and are awesome. Yes Australians think they are awesome, but they're not, they have been brainwashed thinking they are living in the best country of the world, so all other countries are under. What disgusts me the most in the workplace is the tall poppy syndrome. That affect people from 20 to 50yo. They just behave like kids, I never saw so much immaturity. And the touching point, now. Aussies pretend to live in a multicultural society, but it's not. Having 2 kebabs and 3 chinese restaurants, doesn't mean your live in a multicultural society, if other cultures are not embraced. It is extremely rare to see whites, black and Asian together. I am brown, and have been bullied since day 1 at work. I have been given nicknames, have fun of my accent, by employees and General Manager. I made no Aussie friends here. Aussies pretend to have visited Europe, but sorry being in contiki tour, getting pissed and staying between Australians, I don't see the point to go overseas. Their only past time is getting drunk, laid and watch sports. If yo don't fit, you will be called poofta, gay, small ****, etc... Australians won'r say they ar intolerant, and racists, but it's much more submersive than that. They will chat to you, but if you scratch a bit you will see racism and xenophobia in a big majority of them. Aussies are friendly but they're not your friend.
Everyone is greedy and obsessed with dollars, materialistic, lazy, incompetent.

5:18 PM  
Anonymous Wayne said...

Life :
It's a beautiful place. Nice countryside, beautiful weather, stunning sunsets, wildlife. Good for a few months, but after a while, it's always the same and mono dimensional. Australia is good on a day to day basis, but in a lifetime, Australia doesn't bring anything.
There is no street life, it is a country where cars are kings. People here just want to make fast cash, go to work, and go home. End of story. Past 5pm, it's already night and nobody is in the street. This shithole is boring as hell. Australians have teh longest working hours in teh Western world.
Everything here is 2x 3x the prices you would pay in London or America. It is absolutely ridiculous, And quality, service, variety is not here.
Freedom is non existent, there are rules everywhere, Governemt is controling people, media, Internet. There are rules for everything, and it all starts at customs. I have the feeling sometimes to be in 1984, the novel. THere is no novelty or originality. People here don't like very much people who thinks outside of the box.Aussies are scared of difference, or originality. Again that explains why Australia has the biggest rate of franchised business in the world. You will find the same shops, the same restaurants everywhere in Australia. I found NZ their close sister far more richer in variety.
Australia is a constant race about who has teh biggest car, house, TV, etc...so materialistic country, nothing spiritual.

Economy :
OZ is doing well at the moment, but not because of their brains or innovation, but thanks to the resources they have stolen from the aborigenes. Again, no innovation here, it's just by force they are making cash, and surviving, which is good example of how Australia works. It is a tough country.
Due to high costs in salaries, exorbitants taxes, strong AU$, isolation, low skilled people (skilled foreigners are in high demand, they can't find locals for clever jobs), Australia is becoming less and less competitive in the global market. Adding this to a downturn in China economy, and you can read lately in the newspaper, some mining projects being cancelled (moving towards Russia, Kazakhstan, Africa), and some studies saying Australia will be hardly hit by GFC next year, evern foecasts for the end of the year are quite alarming.

I have Italian background, a MBA, and been working in few different countries (England, Canada, US), and now Australia for my job. Been here for 5 years, and planning to leave in two months time. I had teh worst experience of my life here, with Australians, and didn't expect this at all. Even working in a big global organisation, I met intolerance, xenophobia. I have made friends all around which I am still in contact, but haven't been able to make any Aussie friends here, they are all foreigners. It's not only me. I have been on Internet see if poeple where sharing my point of view and there are quite some people who have been through teh same treatments, and share the same point of view, so glad I am not paranoid. Because that's how Australia is starting to make me feel : paranoid, low esteem, where your self is adapting in this environment by becoming one of them.
To survive here you need to look WASP, arrogant, dollars driven, don't give a **** to anyone, and interested in nothing else but cash, beer and sports.
If you're not, don't come here, waste your time, leave like I am doing. Life is short, you only have one, so don't waste your time.In my opinion, Australia has nothing to offer, and is not for me.

5:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am Australian and this is a sad blog. All the Americans I know are really friendly, you're just mean.

3:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Australians know how to laugh at themselves, Usually trouble starts when someone doesn't know how to take a joke or can't laugh at themselves... and as for the riots, it seems that people have forgotten or to fucking wussy to tell why they really started, A gang of middle eastern young "men" ( using that word lightly) gang raped some teenage girls for being "westerners"

8:43 PM  

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