things i think in response to hearing "how many roads must a man walk down, before they call him a man"

"is that a euphemism?"
"doesn't matter as long as the roads are named after US presidents." (the good ones, i mean)
"men don't walk. men have hummers."
"half the roads, if he's riding a bison."

they will never, ever call him a man if he:
wears shoe-skates
starts crying
has feelings
sings folk songs