Friday, January 12, 2007

hit or miss? survey says: 'miss'

last night, in order to escape a meeting of my roommate's and re-insert myself into the calgary scene, i went with rhianna & kathleen to what i believed was an opening for a show of our friend's artwork. it was actually a collective show from the drawing department at ACAD. what a trip down "ha ha..." memory lane. we got first-job salary quotes from the instructors today and let me tell you: i couldn't be happier that i switched majors.

the show's title was "hit or miss" and i give it an "a" for honesty. some of the better quotes of the evening...


kathleen: i think that one's ghandi
kaylen: which one?
rhianna: both of them.
kaylen: maybe not the one who looks so...discomforted by the other ghandi.

(stand around staring at a collage of stencils and crap taped to the wall with electric green painter's tape)

rhianna: i get the feeling this one is the remnants of a piece that is hopefully better.
kaylen: bigger.
rhianna: more gigantic.
kaylen: but mostly just 'better'
rhianna: someone said "hey we're having a drawing department show, do you want to contribute anything?" "well, i do have a bunch of crap leftover on my desk..."
kaylen: "but you have to bring your own tape."
rhianna: "BYOT"
guy interrupting: these are from some artwork that's hanging in trepanier baer
rhianna: i knew it!
kaylen: do you know if it's any better than this one?


kaylen: i like her boots
rhianna: she is pretty stylish all around.
kaylen: let's push her down the stairs and take her clothes.
rhianna: just her clothes
kaylen: right.
rhianna: "we're not raping you- we just want your clothes. you can keep your honour"
kaylen: "your 'treasure'"


(kind of neat/bad painting of a forest with animals...)
rhianna:this is like a collage of every disney movie ever. and the hound
kaylen: the sick-looking dog movie
rhianna: right, 101 dalmations
kaylen: watership down- oh wait, that's not disney at all.


all this intermingled with hypothetical enactments of what we would shout to each other from between the snack tables situated on the different levels of the gallery. involving lots of cheese-wedge throwing and "no not those crackers...the grainy ones...not the ancient grains ones. the ones by the terrible cookies. yeah. no the other terrible cookies."

the catering could not have been worse, by the bye. seriously. not only were the foods bad together, they were bad all on their lonesome...

they had:
1) plastic-tasting cheese wedges of baffling origin
2) potato chips
3) salsa & old tortillas
4) spinach dip
5) some peppers and carrots
6) horrible cuts of wraps which smelled like underarm and tasted like someone's horrible attempt to chemically re-create the flavour of old crab.
7) cookies which i didn't bother to pick up
8) orange juice
9) cherry tomatoes rolling around on various plates
10) grapes whose only flavour was "eek! seeds"


Anonymous Claire said...

hehe oh man, ancient grains...why aren't we neighbours?

12:28 PM  

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