Thursday, June 29, 2006

things that i have found to successfully irritate zookeepers & staff

1. meowing at the animals (strangely, the elephants seemed to enjoy it. the gorillas not so much)

2. re-naming the animals (those silly ethnic names- they are strangely defensive about them)

3. telling curious children special, little, made-up facts about the animals
(ex: " 'mazama' translates to 'deer bunny'..as it clearly is. the south american indians believed the earth god, the rabbit, and the river god, the deer, came together to create this spiritual little fellow! they would sacrifice them and make delicious earth/river jerky.")




4. getting impatient with kids who hog the one little window where you can see the baby hippo

5. singing "skyrockets in flight- afternoon de-light" when the monkies...you know. which is often.

6. asking the staff who give those informational, cutesie, obnoxious speeches about the animals: "do they eat babies?"

7. meowing at the zookeepers.

3 Comments:

Blogger reg vardy said...

sneaking whiskey (or any spirit) into an animals water is always good fun. may require some kind of water pistol though, quite malicious but thoroughly entertaining.

10:44 AM  
Blogger apk01004 said...

I would try to use rum, for the tropical animals. I feel like they might enjoy it better. You know, being tropical and all.

Really if it comes to that though, you might get more fun out of squirting the animal outright with the water pistol. Fsssh! He he.

1:15 PM  
Blogger echolalias said...

i don't know about any of it. i don't know how closely i follow the Golden Rule. whereas i enjoy being 'meow'ed at, and re-named... i hate being squirted with water guns. but who knows, maybe animals enjoy it. especially the elephants because they always seem so dusty.

i would rather use water pistols on women who talk to me through their children. "do you see what that girl is doing? she's drawing! what is the girl drawing?" and then they look up at me waiting to answer. i usually ignore them. but water pistols ... fsssh! indeed

3:28 PM  

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