Saturday, June 24, 2006

summer reading: moby virgin

oh dear. so the virgin is writing a book. a memoir. if i were to judge her book by its cover:



...i would guess this book is absolutely hideous. that is the most un-sensual depiction of a back i have ever seen. the undies reach back into pulp fiction history and grapple at the i had two days to do this illustration sorts. the composition, the stacked type. oh god. it is like a ziggurat of horrid.

if i were to judge the book, not by its cover, but by the known literary skill(z) of the author...

...absolutely hideous.

someone teach this girl a new sentence pattern. for all her sexual exploits and writing about sexual exploits, she barely breaks the "i know more than three variations of sentence structure" barrier. oh, erotica. anais nin is turning circles in her grave. if she finds it significant. my marketing forecast, my literary spidy senses if you will, predict this plotless gem winds up in the pile of "2 for $5" (or 2/2pounds) on the tables in Chapters along with Gardening for Cats and Kosher Pilates for Jews.

her faithful readers include those who send the following encouragements:

it's been amazing to see the internet creating opportunities to for women to tell the truth about their lives in a way nothing else ever has.
...
Finally, thanks so much for all the courage, effort and frankness you put into your blog, and, doubtless, the book – as a fairly unconventional woman myself (bi, poly, prostitute and dominatrix), I feel very aware of the social pressures on women to conform, restrict their desires or, at least, keep quiet about them!


right. because no one else writes about explicit sex. unless it is suddenly novel to write poorly about it. there is barely any plot to this book at all. go amazon the sucker. this is truly (and hopefully) the end of the Sex & the City trickle-down. the last dying heaves? the death throes?

YESSSSS!!! Good for you. I hope your book is a success. I'm sure all your fans will buy it, I know I will! One thing though, will that be the cover? The picture is not very attractive. For all the amazing things it will have inside the outside does not fit it. The woman’s arms lay very stiff on her side. It’s not seductive, attractive, inviting or intriguing. It does not have to look like a porn star but I think it can be prettier. Just a little visual opinion, that’s all. Also if your arse is not that small then by all means change it!

well, a faint glimmer of discretion as far as the illustration goes.


oh boy.

...well as a consequence, i am seeing Lisa Moore with a flicker of aknowledgement previously undeclared. especially lisa moore's cover design.

17 Comments:

Blogger apk01004 said...

Well you know, being so very very mean to people on the internet, even people who deserve it (what is with those underpants?) well, they can see you. They can see that you are being very mean. Doesn't that worry you, that you will get a bad reputation as a kind of character assassin from posts like this?

4:15 PM  
Blogger echolalias said...

to be honest?

no, i really don't much care... i think she is horrible. and it is a horrible book cover. my blog is my personal review area. sometimes movies. sometimes people. sometimes fruit.

she is quite full of herself, either way. and could benefit from some harsh criticism. i do not make it blindly, afterall.

12:29 AM  
Blogger echolalias said...

ps:

i would like to add... i do not have a problem with mean people. or being mean. being nice is really not all it's cracked up to be. if all you have is nice... well. i'm thinking "that's it? really... just...nice? huh..."

i would rather very mean-spirited friends who are very clever and have a number of fantastic attributes. fortunately, rhianna, for example...is mean. but clever. and intelligent. well-read. and is considerate. but generally we are both quite mean.

12:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yup, your mean, jealous and from someone that apears to have no class.
A person recently said to me.... words can be very hurtful -- usually generated by jealousy". I think he was wise in his statement. - J -

9:26 PM  
Blogger echolalias said...

oh dear.

no... my meanness comes from an intimate love of things that are done beautifully. john berger, for example. the more i love berger, the more i hate, say, jk rowling. things that are done sloppily or stupidly incur my wrath. they offend me and everything that i love.

my 'mean' serves to 'love' the good and oppress everything that just doesn't measure up.

for instance, people who say "your" when they mean "you're". that is sloppy.

i think it is self-indulgent and under-productive to assume criticism comes from jealousy.

9:59 PM  
Blogger apk01004 said...

You see? Bad temper attracts these people like flies to honey.

1:17 AM  
Blogger echolalias said...

oh, poo.
it was one person. who didn't even know how to use apostrophes. you are exaggerating.

1:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you call your words love, I truely feel sorry for any children or small pet in your village!


LOVE=A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

You are obviously young, inexperienced and had a bad upbringing!

8:17 AM  
Blogger echolalias said...

on the contrary. i am quite experienced and tender like you wouldn't believe.

really, i'm a kitten.

a very critical kitten, granted. but honestly, i'm a writer and a designer. you write crap and wrap it in incredibly bad design/type i am going to call you on it. why? because good design is for everyone.

see: i am mean, so you can have good writing/design.

i am like a mother lion hunting only the best for my cubs. why? because i love you, of course. sometimes a lion's love is not a gentle one. but what i do, i do for me & you alike.

9:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please, don't do a thing for me. I don't need a sniveling brat kid in my corner. As the world can find it's own way. .
i.e. with a friend like you, who would needs enamies?
poor you.

9:20 AM  
Blogger echolalias said...

my thoughts on this are:

if you do not know how to spell 'enemies', perhaps you do not know what is good for you.

or maybe, despite what you're saying, that spelling error was a cry for help. and by 'help, i mean 'love'.

9:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

& by 'love,' she means, 'fuck off back to your christian god-love blog.'

cordially,
c

9:52 AM  
Blogger echolalias said...

oh, c.

do you love me? because i love you.

9:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

inside&out, baby. inside&out.

9:57 AM  
Blogger echolalias said...

you & me, baby, we will drive out the philistines.

with love, witticism & copious amounts of red bull & something/anything that isn't goldschlager.

oh, right. ... & ampersands

10:01 AM  
Blogger Jonathan Ball said...

at least jesus loves you. oh wait... no, he was talking about porn. jesus loves porn.

4:24 PM  
Blogger echolalias said...

...and who could blame him?

4:49 PM  

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