Saturday, June 24, 2006

a peek into my shower scandal of the day pt II

people who've been made wise as to my shower-time hobbies (pt I) actually have failed to shun me. have giggled. tittered. sung my little choral numbers along with me, as i try to remember which grain of bread i liked in safeway. i can never remember anything other than: oatmeal is too sweet.

so as a little preview for you, because i love you, here is the latest in my shower scandals along with a bit more insight into the production itself. call it, the 'behind the shower curtains' section if you will.

the rules of the scandals are as follows.

1. each scandal has 2 main characters (the big toes, of course)

2. each scandal has the use of eight supporting characters (the minor toes, of course.)

3. supporting characters can take on the forms of: a) supporting human figures ; b) animals ; c) a greek chorus that acts in unison.

4. there has to be one central scandal. whether or not more elaborate deceptions and acts of sneakiness are woven around the navel-plot, is up to the director (me) and writer (me).

5. musical numbers are never mandatory. but they are delightful. who can argue otherwise?

--

so yesterday's scandal was one that drew on my religious background as well as my more recent experience with commenting in religious blogs/forums. such touchy gentlemen. a minor shout-out to alex for backing me up, though. very noble of you, sir.

the setting for the scandal is a small urban/suburban city, mostly protestant/athiest/agnostic. you know the mix. it is a trendy, delightful little city which is thrown off-kilter by the pope. the pope! who rides into town and causes quite a bit of confusion with his alien way of life. these townspeople are not catholic, and take to looking into the gospels for answers. not answers to life's larger questions... but rather the question of: why is the pope stealing all our muffins?

(musical number here..goes something like:

why, oh, why is the pope stealing our muffins?
what, oh, what could the pope want with our muffins?
every blueberry gone from the tray,
what is his motive to sashay
every crumb from our ovens?
... etc)

the townspeople, still baffled by their favourite breakfast staple being swiped at such a rate, nonetheless learn quite a bit about catholicism. however, just when i was getting pruny and figuring i should wrap things up...well, i couldn't figure out why the pope would actually steal muffins. so the end-scandal is: he is not really the pope at all! simply an out of work salesman with acute kleptomania.

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