a friendly little note to myself

dear kaylen
(yes, we will be doing this in open letter form. so..)

dear kaylen,

in case you somehow forget the last twenty minutes of searing pain: crying into soap suds, shampoo suds, and towels... this is a reminder from me (me) to you (me) that it is not ever okay to use oil of oregano on your face. sure, the bottle and various sources say: it is great for your skin! well, they are raging liars. concentrated oregano oil burns like a motherfucker. as you know, i don't use this term left and right. when i say "like a motherfucker" i mean "like a fucking motherfucker". and because it is an oil it does not easily wash off. and when you splash your face, it only spreads and spreads and spreads...

you nearly passed out and, well, it has been twenty minutes and your face is still boiled-lobster red. even your roommate has pointed out you are 'glowing'. and the way he says it, it is not a good thing.

best wishes,
myself

ps: on the upside, you haven't been miserable about mosquito bites for twenty minutes.

pps: i think it is a good idea to practice saying "you are glowing" to pregnant women and say it in the way it is not at all a good thing. ha.