you just sit in it, right?

question: how do i know i'm working in a company so presentation-happy that they will indulge a presentation on just about anything?
answer: i was invited to a presentation called "how to use your chair".

question: am i going to this?
answer: you bet i am.

i even prepared the following list of essential chair questions:

"okay...where does the butt go?"

"how is it supposed to feel? use metaphors please."

"what are the long-term spiritual repercussions? for my butt that is."

"in your professional opinion should my bottom feel a) cradled, b) cupped, c) embraced, d) snuggled or e) supported but that's all?"

"what is the black-market value of each chair? just curious. also how many can i fit into a standard U-Haul? in theory."

"will my chair get upset if i sometimes sit in other chairs?"

"are you hired solely to give chair presentations? do you have any openings."




a list of presentations one can probably expect down the road:
why you put things on top of your desk (not under)

how floors work

opened windows and closed windows - understanding the difference

the standard office lightswitch and you

how to operate a toilet with automatic-flush

how plates work

culinary interest: 4-part series on poptarts (pamphlets and powerpoint decks available for download)

your phone rings! find out what to do next.

you have a sandwich! find out what to do next.

unraveling the mystery behind buttons, zippers and buckles.

how to read your digital clock.