happy families devour unhappy babies: and other emotional headlines

using the headline evaluator at advanced marketing institute's website (here) i mucked around with some phrases, words, etc, to try and see how appealing they were. their generator determines the EMV (Emotional Marketing Value) of your healine, based on the words and maybe some secret stuff they don't mention.

now, i think there's a few flaws. first of all, there's no way it measures word combinations and some words are more evocative when placed in relation to other words, than they would be all by their lonesome. also, it fails to recognize the measure of significance placed upon a single word. i think any headline that is one word (unless it is a gay word like "inveigle") has a little boost of significance.

100% = PERFECT SCORE

0% = NEUTRAL: "Your headline either has no words that invoke emotional impact with people person, or the percentage of such words is so low as to be unlikely to make any emotional impact."




random:
emotional families devour unhappy babies = 100%
people who are emotionally attached to their deceased pet chinchillas pray the hardest = 53%
prince of tides was worse than the raping = 12.50%

book titles:
a heartbreaking work of staggering genius = 33.33%
lullaby = 0%
to the wedding = 33.33%
and our faces my heart brief as photos = 37.50%
one hundred years of solitude = 40%
you shall know our velocity = 80%
lolita = 100%
love in the time of cholera = 16.67
the magus = 0%
another bullshit night in suck city = 16.67%
infinite jest = 0%
fight club = 0%
girl with curious hair = 25%
extremely loud and incredibly close = 40%
everything is illuminated = 66.67%
hitch hiker's guide to the galaxy = 33%

immature others:
poop = 100%
poopy = 0%
boobs = 100%
butt = 0%
i am picking my nose = 0%
i am picking your nose = 0%
stick it up your nose = 0%
slutty = 0%
not what a blowhole is for = 16.67%
yo mama = 50%
skank-ass ho = 0%
asshat = 0%
pee = 100%
dirty sanchez = 50%
the dirty sanchez = 33%
purple nurple = 0%
nipples = 0%
chest lumps = 0%
lovely lady lumps 66.67%
pee pee = 100%
i mean we would never pee on it = 50%
butt-pie = 0%
glen wirtle's shuttlecock = 0%
that's what she said = 20%
have you ever seen deliverance? = 40%
breasts = 0%
butts butts butts = 0%
emotional marketing is gay = 50%
gay = 0%
homo-erotic = 0%
i like my sex joyless and without sensation. it's my way of punishing the supermodels = 14.29%
the pope's cousin count pope-ula, a magical monster with pencils for arms = 16.67%
asian girls are embarrassed about their nipples = 14.29%

offensive:
let's do mean things to black people because they are black = 54.55%
let's pretend everyone who is hispanic loves burritos = 50%
savages are exciting = 33.33%
baby savages are excitinger = 50%