Tuesday, April 24, 2007

the gayest thing i've ever read (even in a myspace bulletin)

+ appropriate commentary

Every girl dreams that one day she will find a guy that does these things for her. even the smallest action can have the BIGGEST impact in someones life.

• give her one of your t-shirts to sleep in. (germs)
• leave her cute text notes. (i would never date a guy who text messages)
• kiss her in front of your friends. (what kind of exhibitionist jerk are you? friends don't want to see that.)
• tell her she looks beautiful. (and make that sound less fake)
• look into her eyes when you talk to her. (but blink. that's how we know you're human.)
• let her mess with your hair. (i don't like touching people's hair.)
• touch her hair. (i like other people touching my hair even less.)
• just walk around with her. (maybe the only thing on this list i like.)
• FORGIVE her for her MISTAKES. (i don't make mistakes in caps.)
• look at her like she's the only girl you see. (oh, why bother. we all know there are other pretty ladies out there.)
• tickle her even when she says stop. (but settle on a 'safety word'.)
• hold her hand when you're around your friends. (jerks. plus, hand-holding is muggy.)
• when she starts swearing at you, tell her you love her. (way to ensure you get yelled at twice as much)
• let her fall asleep in your arms. (too muggy. i like to explore a variety of sleep position options before picking one. being held doesn't really allow for that.)
• get her mad, then kiss her. (repeat other cliche scenes)
• stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything. (oh the romantic hiss of empty space... gay)
• tease her and let her tease you back. (why am i imagining two obnoxious people sitting together on the sofa with peacock feathers...)
• stay up all night with her when she's sick. (so then we can both be sick. oh, hooray.)
• watch her favorite movie with her. (okay. yeah, i'll make you do that. but it's Muppet Treasure Island.)
• kiss her forehead. (i guess.)
• give her the world. (too heavy)
• let her wear your clothes. (too big and unflattering)
• when she's sad, hang out with her.
• let her know she's important. (name on a plaque every month)
• kiss her in the pouring rain. (too slippery.)
• when you fall in love with her, tell her. (unless it's late at night. that stuff can wait.)
• and when you tell her, love her like you've never loved someone before. (amnesia tests to be performed immediately.)


guys repost as : i'd do this for my girl.
girls repost as : a perfect boyfriend
if you don`t repost this in four minutes you will lose the one you love.

if you do repost this in four minutes the one you love will :
call you
kiss you
love you

(gay)

2 Comments:

Anonymous roderigo vazquez said...

psh. i touched your hair about 50 times and you liked it.

i'm also glad i got Grandma's Boy instead of Muppet Treasure Island. oh man.

6:28 PM  
Blogger kaylen said...

a) the muppets are amazing.
b) i was faking it.

7:16 PM  

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