Friday, March 30, 2007

question & answer

Q:"hey, you're in the know. is zach condon the new jeff mangum with less crazy?"

A: i'm glad you asked that. glad to stop that crazy train of thought before it reaches any large cities. no, i do not think zach condon is the new jeff mangum, but i can see how a person would off-handedly think so. sure, they both are acquired tastes and appeal only to a limited fan-base. however, that's about as far as it goes. zach condon is not only "less crazy", he is younger (suppler) and deeply sonorous on levels that rely on stylistic preference more than stylistic tolerance (and/or an appreciation of disharmony) to enjoy. besides being a one-man band, playing every instrument under than sun (as opposed to jeff and his acoustic-y guitar), zach could not express more apathy to his lyrics if he tried. we all know jeff & his lyrics. moving on. if you were looking for a new jeff mangum in the crowd, i can't think of anyone more blisteringly reliant on odd-music taste than swan lake & sunset rubdown vocalist spencer krug (also of wolf parade.... but who am i kidding, y'all know this.)

Q: "why are all the bees dying?"

A: you're refering to the "colony collapse disorder", no doubt. for those of you who don't know...folks, expect to pull out some extra cash for honey, because this year all the bees are deciding to meet their maker. dropping dead all over the country. i am guessing this means american and canadians bees both. you'd think we'd beat you by a couple months at least...but my guess is, it is the second coming. you know how pigeons react fractions of seconds earlier to loud noises etc, than people? it's like that only with bees and maybe a year before the magical heaven-monster descends to claim us. hug us to his man-bosom. yeah, you heard it here first. other less spiritual scientists have come to the conclusion that it is, in fact.....your mother.

oh snap, i went there.


ps:

4 Comments:

Blogger Secret Rapture said...

Quite a costume!
My inaugural address at the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead, after I have raptured out billions! The Secret Rapture soon, by my hand!
Read My Inaugural Address
My Site=http://www.angelfire.com/crazy/spaceman
Your jaw will drop!

11:30 AM  
Blogger kaylen said...

...yeah i went there.

too many words.
if my jaw were to drop, it would probably be to let out a big hefty yawn. i am not reading all that.

12:26 PM  
Blogger Secret Rapture said...

I have noticed that most people have a hard time getting through my stuff.

10:51 AM  
Blogger kaylen said...

maybe if i had started reading. i kind of just scrolled down all the way and by the time i reached the bottom, i felt done.

12:49 PM  

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