a menu of unmentionables.

(context: after i was accused of being old)


Me: dear robert.
please eat a bag of dicks.
sincerely, me.
Robert: HEY
Me: a bag. full. of dicks. :`)
Robert: You like to eat dickcereal. dicks in milk
Me: you like to eat dicks on toast.
Robert: you like to eat dicks on a stick
(like pogos)
(with mustard ... lots of mustard)
Me: you like to eat fresh-from-the-garden dicks
with hidden valley dressing.
Robert: ugh, you like to eat...pickled dicks
Me: you like to eat colonel's special recipe dicks.
with 14 secret spices.
Robert: Yeah? Well you like to eat dick tacos, with extra special sour cream (hint: it's not really sour cream).
Me: oh snap
Robert:(but it's still white and gooey)
Me:you like to eat tim horton's muffin-full-of-dicks.
with a big steaming cup of tim horton's dicks.
Robert: You like to eat deep fried dick, with dickjuice dipping sauce, and dick pop (biggy sized)
Me: you like greasy breaded dick with a side of curly dicks and a Big Gulp of dicks from the gas station next door..
Robert: You like chinchilla dick.
Me: !
Robert: A delicacy among dick dishes
(with dick sauce, of course)
Me: you like dick purple stuff. you don't even hold out for the Sunny Dick.
Robert: You like dick fingers, with creamy dick dipping sauce, and then you like to like your fingers afterwards, savouring the dick flavour.
Me: you like to sit out on your dick porch an drink a cool glass of dick-ade and reminisce about all the times you ate dick.
Robert: You like dicks-in-a-can, discount style. With dick-sauce-in-a-can. Pump-style... pump it, and the cream comes out (and you eat it, which you love to do).