commercial break trivia-- gay cookie trivia

courtesy of food network's 12 days of Cookies, which decided to hold us captive over commercials with fun, vague, homosessual trivia about cookies.

me: what is the oldest known cookie?
alex: !
How can you even answer a question like that?
me: it was a trivia question on tv. lord if i know.
alex: Uh, uh, uh...
Butter cookies?
They're the simplest cookies.
me: i have no idea...
alex: Or, like, little squares of pate sucree?
me: i will tell you after this commercial break
alex: Oh boy. I bet it's mega dumb.
me: oh i'm sure it is.

(answer comes on tv)

me: oh, the pizzelle
...

*squint*
but those are fried, not baked.
alex: That's riduculous.
I know.
Oldest waffle maybe.


me: oh here's the next one
who brought the modern day cookie to north america?
alex: Columbus. No, but really these questions are impossibly vague.
me: maybe the vikings
like erik the red!
alex: Leif Eriksson?
me: yesss
or maybe it was one of the spanish galleons that also brought the ponies to chincoteague
ponies AND cookies
oh boy here is the answer!
alex: I'm going to say Ponce de Leon.
me: what the hell...... dutch scottish and english settlers...
alex: If he was searching for the fountain of youth, he was probably also a one for cookies.
me: how could that be any less conclusive. this channel is full up with stupid.

ah HA HA HA....
they brought this lady on who makes her mother's cookies.. and they showed these yellowed cards behind glass. "and she even saved the original recipe cards-- which are decades old!" .... they say "1974" in the corner.
alex: That's so sad.
me: anyhow...so basically the americas were like some potluck christmas party and everyone brought the same dish.
alex: Yeah, but nobody brought any ice for the drinks.
So we're stuck having warm bourbon and cola.