Sunday, May 28, 2006

is your doppler gay-dar going off?

...cause mine sure is.

So there's some good news, people. They have picked & released the names for the 2006 hurricanes. the bad news? prepare yourself .... for some really gay hurricanes.

Alberto, Beryl, Chris, Debby, Ernesto, Florence, Gordon, Helene, Isaac, Joyce, Kirk, Leslie, Michael, Nadine, Oscar, Patty, Rafael, Sandy, Tony, Valerie and William

(sexy: Isaac, Joyce, Nadine, Helene, Michael, Oscar (like wilde. hurricanes don't get any hotter than oscar wilde.)

(gay: Alberto, Beryl, Kirk, Rafael, Tony)

[coincidental: Chris (my personal berger), Debby (chris's mom), Valerie(old roommate/whore)]

(biblical: Isaac & Michael)

(weak sauce: Debby, Gordon, Ernesto, Leslie)

the scary thing is, someday, we may run out of names and have to resort to alternatives. some of these alternatives are:

concepts (like for quarks)
o Hurricane Love
o Hurricane Beauty
o Hurricane Strange

i think this is doubtful. more realistically, we may have to eventually use
black mixed-up names:
(you know exactly what i mean by that. don't pretend you do not.)

o Hurricane Jaquandra
o Hurricane Shaniqua
o Hurricane Latissha
o Hurricane Chikae
o Hurricane Deion
o Hurricane Kleavon
o Hurricane Laqueta
o Hurricane Latoya
o Hurricane Tameron
o Hurricane Terrel
o Hurricane Darlonna (mix of "Darlene" and "Donna". to what end? i'm baffled.)
o Hurricane Shamari

(i do not make these up. not most of them. African American Baby Names makes them up. even better ones here. also note the insane polls and ads.)

aphra behn (oldschool black names):
o Hurricane Oroonoko
o Hurricane Imoinda

o Hurricane Andrew-is-taking-that-coloured-girl-to-the-prom?

political scandals:
o Hurricane Monicagate
o Hurricane Watergate
o Hurricane Glaciars? What Glaciars?

Famous Republicans
o Hurricane Ann Coulter


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